The ex-husband of late singer Amy Winehouse has said he would do “almost everything” differently if he could go back in time.
Blake Fielder-Civil was married to Winehouse for two years between 2007 and 2009, and was in prison when the singer died aged 27 from alcohol poisoning in July 2011.
Fielder-Civil, 41, and Back To Black singer Winehouse both battled substance abuse issues during their marriage and were frequently photographed in a state of disarray.
Fielder-Civil said he believes many people still hold him responsible for her death.
Speaking on ITV’s Good Morning Britain on what would have been Winehouse’s 40th birthday, he said: “It’s devastating she’s not here. I think about her a lot, I thought about her this morning when I woke up and said my happy birthday to her.
'I was a 20-something-year-old drug addict and I had no idea how to make myself clean, let alone somebody else'
On what would have been Amy Winehouse’s 40th birthday, her ex-husband, Blake Fielder-Civil admits that he made mistakes pic.twitter.com/HkMQ7xievB— Good Morning Britain (@GMB) September 14, 2023
“I’ll always, always, always miss her. She was my best friend, and we were married.
“Obviously, we had our issues, I think if it wouldn’t have been for certain factors, you know, it would have been completely different, a different relationship, a different outcome.”
Discussing what those factors were, he said: “Aside from the obvious ones, which everyone knew about – the addiction – fame in itself at a young age is hard to deal with.
“Also I think everything happened kind of quite quickly for Amy and I at the time, we were really young, this was over nearly half my life ago.
“Factors that a lot of people have when they’re young – mistakes, not knowing how to conduct themselves, not knowing how to pace yourself, not knowing what your limits are – normal things that people learn as they get older that we perhaps weren’t afforded the same kind of allowances to make mistakes.”
Asked if he thinks he is still held responsible for her death, Fielder-Civil said: “Yeah, that’s one of the reasons why I wanted to speak today. I do, and that’s okay.
“I can’t change how other people feel about that. But for me, personally, I needed to stop carrying that cross on my own.
“I’ve carried that burden myself for over 10 years. I feel that I’m the only person within that story that’s ever held any accountability, that has ever tried to say, ‘Yeah, I made some huge mistakes’.
“I was a 20-something-year-old drug addict so I had no idea how to make myself clean, let alone somebody else who was a big cog in the machine for a record label and there were vested interests in Amy carrying on performing.”
Fielder-Civil said he had used drugs before he met Winehouse but did not become an addict until later. He also confirmed Winehouse had not tried heroin until she saw him taking it.
He continued: “I wasn’t an addict before Amy was, I had done drugs. There’s a difference between somebody that takes drugs socially. Again, this isn’t me trying to demean my role. I did become a drug addict.
“Full accountability. I’d tried that particular drug [heroin] a handful of times. I hadn’t gone down any bad roads with it. I know that sounds a bizarre thing to say.”
Asked what he would change if he could go back and do things differently, he said: “Almost everything.
“Before me and Amy did that together. I had tried it a few times. So I recognise myself now, and this is part of being kinder to myself, I didn’t know what I was doing. I wasn’t going into it with an intention of this happening.
“I don’t think people around Amy, people that loved Amy, her family or friends, none of them would think that this is what I would have wanted.
“But equally I think that they would have said Amy wouldn’t want me to have taken the burden for the past 10 plus years.”
A biopic about Winehouse, entitled Back To Black, is due to be released next year but Fielder-Civil said he is not sure if he will watch it.
He said: “Maybe. Maybe not. I mean, I’ll probably see what people’s reactions are.”
