A woman who groomed a 14-year-old boy leading them to have sex two years later after she “relentlessly pursued” him has been jailed for a year.
Pamela Lonergan of Treanmanagh, Glenbeigh, Co Kerry previously pleaded guilty to four counts of defilement of a child under the age of 17. The offences occurred at locations in Kerry and Cork in 2008 and 2009.
Ms Lonergan was 26 when she first started initiating contact with the minor having met him in a social setting.
Cork Circuit Criminal Court heard that when the victim first met Ms Lonergan, who is now 43, the relationship was “platonic “but “intense.”
Det Sgt Kevin Long said that Lonergan and the youth initially talked about matters they were both interested in such as literature.
Texts
The court head that the boy was often texted by Ms Lonergan when he was in school, leading him to become tired in class. She frequently texted and called him. Ms Lonergan bombarded him with attention and then withdrew it, building up his dependence on her.
Dt Sgt Long that Ms Lonergan was fully aware the boy was a minor when she groomed him.
The boy was a virgin at the time they had sex, when he was 16.
The defilement continued from that point. Sexual relations only concluded when the man was 18 and moved to another continent for a fresh start.
Ms Lonergan told her religious congregation, The Jehovah’s Witnesses, of what had occurred, and she expressed remorse for her behaviour. She also apologised to the victim. The expressions of contrition took place before there was ever a complaint made to gardaí by the injured party.
The man reported the matter to gardaí when he was in his late twenties. Ms Lonergan was subsequently arrested for questioning about the suspected defilement of a child. She pleaded guilty to all four charges.
In his victim impact statement, the man said he first met Ms Lonergan at a social gathering when he was 14. They didn’t have much of a conversation, and he only knew of her in passing. He was aware she worked in childcare and was also employed as a window cleaner.
Ms Lonergan became more present in his life when there was upheaval in his family home.
“She entered my life as my family home was being torn apart. I was extremely vulnerable and lonely and even though Pamela’s messages felt unusual the attention was appealing.
“The texting was intense from day one and quickly it was constant back and forth texts from morning until evening. It was constant back and forth texts from morning until evening.
I learned how to text her during class under the table without looking at my phone. This constant contact massively affected my concentration.
Every now and again she would say she was stopping all contact for a week or two only to get back in contact earlier than she said she would.
I wasn’t allowed to text her during these times and if I did, I was berated.
'Hot and cold' behaviour
He said Ms Lonergan engaged in toxic “hot and cold” behaviour.
“This hot/cold communication and aggression was a pattern that continued in the coming years and created great emotional instability for me. I felt shame when I tried to contact her and was met with aggression and judgement. This giving and removing of intense attention created an extreme dependence.”
The victim said that phone calls between the pair often went on for hours and left him exhausted and unable to focus in school.
“We started calling on the phone sometimes from 8pm to 6am. I missed school days because of my sleep deprivation. Feelings of depression and anxiety increased.”
He stated that Ms Lonergan began to talk about her sexual experiences with ex-boyfriends.
“She told me she wanted to be the person I had my first sexual experience with. It was early in the morning after an all-night phone conversation. What she said was so shocking I took the day off school and spent the day at home in a dissociative state.
"It felt so unnatural to be in this position, but I was completely dependent. This talking turned to phone sex and I was made to feel equally responsible and guilty for this.
"I was too young to understand and navigate those intense feelings. The shame and guilt I was feeling for Pamela’s actions caused intense depression and anxiety and I contemplated suicide.”
He said when things turned sexual when he was 16 he was made to feel responsible and guilty for it.
Rageful behaviour
Whilst in public he had to act as if they were just friends. If he did anything to show otherwise he was met with rageful behaviour from Ms Lonergan.
“The secrecy was corrosive and I felt I was walking on eggshells, anticipating the next bout of anger."
The teenager had hoped to go to university with one of his teachers saying that he had “brains to burn.” However, the abusive relationship took its toll and he finished school at 16.
He said even when he moved to another continent for a fresh start, Lonergan arrived there to be with him, leading him back “in this caustic environment”. He said his heart sank when he saw Ms Lonergan arriving at the airport.
He said when he was 20 he “mustered enough courage” to “break ties” with her. However, he was left scarred by his experiences and became addicted to alcohol and porn.
He said he pushed people away for years. However, he eventually sought help and subsequently reported the matter to gardaí. He expressed his appreciation for the support of his wife and therapist.
He said that he has removed the guilt and shame of this abuse “layer by layer.”
“I have come to realise this was a betrayal of my trust at my most vulnerable, and it isn’t my fault.”
“I am using this experience as fuel for positive change.
“So Pam you can keep the abuse, the shame, the guilt - it is not mine”.
The man thanked gardaí and Support after Crime for their assistance with his case.
Defence barrister Emmet Boyle said that the youth was 16 years six months and eleven days when the first incidence of defilement occurred. He said that initially Ms Lonergan and the youth had a platonic relationship which involved “nothing of a prurient interest.”
He said his client accepted her responsibility for what had occurred and made this clear to her Jehovah’s Witnesses community. Mr Boyle said that Lonergan also apologised to the injured party.
Judge Colin Daly said Lonergan “relentlessly pursued” a relationship with the teenager.
“She appears to have groomed the victim before sex took place. The accused continued the relationship over a sustained period of time.
She was of previous good character. She expressed contrition and remorse. She expressed this before any complaint was made. I take this as genuine. A period of time in custody is warranted.”
Judge Daly said that the aggravating factors involved abuse being carried out over a sustained period of time, the fact that she groomed the victim and the significant age disparity between Lonergan and the youth. He jailed Ms Lonergan for a year.
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can call the national 24-hour Rape Crisis Helpline at 1800-77 8888, access text service and webchat options at drcc.ie/services/helpline/ or visit Rape Crisis Help.
