A woman with an eating disorder has been forced to go public with her struggle to get life-saving help.
Lisa Murphy has raised more than €40,000 in two days to fund private treatment for an eating disorder.
The 31-year-old said “inadequate” services provided by the public health system meant she had to seek help from the public to pay for a 12-week programme which costs €60,000.
Despite anonymous pleas earlier this year following a suicide attempt, the Cork woman was not able to secure a place in one of the three hospital beds offered by the HSE.
After witnessing the extent of her illness, Ms Murphy’s friends intervened and set up an online fundraising page to gather money to pay for the treatment.
“I’ve attempted suicides several times and I suppose this year has been the first year that I really thought, if I don’t actually die by my own hands, then this illness will physically end it,” she told the PA news agency.
“I’m really feeling the physical consequences of it this past year more than ever, like my body is just not working properly.
“I really can’t remember the last day that I had where I hadn’t considered just ending it. It’s constant. When I get up in the morning, my first thoughts are, ‘oh my God, another day, like I can’t do this’.
“I’m absolutely shocked I made it to 31.”
This is the very last thing I wanted to do, but I am out of options.
Please donate / share the link, every little helps.
Please be kind, this isn’t easy.
Thank you to my friends & family for their unwavering love & support. https://t.co/fE3DuxKxqrAdvertisement— Dr Lisa Murphy ⏳ (@lisaemurphy) November 2, 2021
Ms Murphy has suffered bulimia and anorexia since she was a teenager and has struggled throughout her 20s.
More than €42,000 had been raised in 48 hours, and hundreds of people left messages of support, which have left Ms Murphy “blown away”.
“This really is life or death for me. To be honest, there’s a part of me thinks, I don’t know if this inpatient treatment is going to work,” she said.
“It’s the most intensive support that you can get. I don’t know if it’s going to work, but it’s the only chance that I have.”
Ms Murphy said she makes herself sick dozens of times a day and goes to great lengths to hide it from family, friends and colleagues.
“There have been times at work where I went to the toilets and have been vomiting really violently, which is a very difficult thing to do when you do it as often as I do,” she said.
“My eyes were bloodshot, I’d be a bit disoriented, but then I just snap into this other mind altogether, and I’m like, ‘OK, grand, that’s done’, and then go back out and say ‘hi everyone’ and chat away.”
“I don’t have enough love or respect for myself to care what I’m doing to my body and I don’t like myself enough to care, is what it comes down to.
“The pain from laxative abuse is absolutely brutal. I’ve often passed out from it.
“I feel the loneliness in my chest, it’s like a physical pain. It’s such a lonely existence.”
Ms Murphy said she feels “let down” by services provided by the HSE.
“I feel the level of care I’ve been offered over the years has just been so deeply inadequate,” she added.
“I’ve been very vocal all along the way with the public services, telling them what I need and asking them for the help that I know that I’ll be able to respond to, and it’s just the same answer every time: ‘this is all we can offer’.”
Donations can be made at gofund.me/f469afc5
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can freephone the Samaritans 24 hours a day for confidential support at 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.
Alternatively, the contact information for a range of mental health supports is available at mentalhealthireland.ie/get-support.
In the case of an emergency, or if you or someone you know is at risk of suicide or self-harm, dial 999/112.
