Grimes has opened up about her relationship with Tesla billionaire Elon Musk.
The two already share a son, X AE A-12, known as X, and have now revealed they had a baby girl via surrogate – named Exa Dark Siderael Musk, known as Y.
That’s not the only thing Grimes shared about her relationship with Musk, in a new interview with Vanity Fair. She said: “There’s no real word for it. I would probably refer to him as my boyfriend, but we’re very fluid. We live in separate houses. We’re best friends. We see each other all the time… We just have our own thing going on, and I don’t expect other people to understand it.”
For this pair, living separately seems to be a good idea – they’re apparently too different in terms of neatness and aesthetics.
Of course, most regular people can’t afford to live in a different house to their partner – but there could be something in carving out space for yourself in a relationship.
Finding time for yourself is “massively important”, stresses Alex Mellor-Brook, relationship expert from Select Personal Introductions.
My alone time is not negotiable whether i am in a relationship or not.
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“Every relationship needs its own space,” he explains. “Especially with lockdown – because they’d [couples] spend so much time together, the lines between who they were became blurred. So their individuality wasn’t there anymore.”
For Mellor-Brook, it’s crucial for people to keep their sense of self within a relationship. “Once you lose your individuality and your thought processes, you can’t think things through,” he suggests. “So your thought patterns towards something might become a bit tarnished.” Taking some time apart from your other half helps give you perspective – it allows you to think through anything that might be going on in the relationship, work out how you feel about it, and be more able to discuss it with the other person.
If you don’t take this time to think over things in your relationship, Mellor-Brook worries you might start “resenting that person, you might even feel anger towards them. These things are the underlying moments that will start to create a toxic relationship – and they will build until a point where something will happen.”
Luckily, Mellor-Brook says it’s “really, really simple” to carve out space for yourself within a relationship. It doesn’t have to be expensive – you don’t have to buy a separate house from your partner – and it doesn’t even have to take that much time.
“It could be as simple as going for a run, or finding an activity you want to do on your own – a hobby. It could be going for a drive, or doing something cultural – an art gallery, a museum,” he says. “It’s just about saying, ‘This is my time for me, so I can remember who I am’.”
Mellor-Brook’s top piece of advice is to get this dedicated time in the diary. “You need to schedule it, you need to say, ‘This is my time’,” he recommends. “It’s not about being too overtly dominant about it, it’s just making sure your partner understands and appreciates that – and they should do, because it helps your relationship.”
Ultimately, Mellor-Brooks suggests taking time and space from your partner is positive for any relationship. Not only will it help you work out any issues with a bit more perspective and calm, but you might then find you value the time you do spend with your partner even more.
