Love and money are now more closely linked than ever, according to TV presenter and dating expert Anna Williamson.
And with the cost-of-living crisis threatening to disrupt how we date and many couples needing to tighten their belts, she says honest communication is vital.
“Money’s always been up there as one of the main causes of a couple breakdown, but I think now, there’s definitely been an upward trend in couples having conflict around finances,” says Williamson, who has featured as a dating agent on Channel 4’s Celebs Go Dating since 2019.
The presenter, coach and therapist – who lives in the English countryside with her husband Alex Di Pasquale and their two children, Vincenzo, seven, and Eleanora, four – admits that in her own marriage, she makes a conscious effort not to let money affect things.
“I’m very fortunate that my husband and I are very financially compatible in the sense of attitudes around behaviours around money,” says the 42-year-old.
“We come from quite different backgrounds – my husband was born and grew up in Sicily, I was born in the southeast of England. It can really play into some relationships – a difference in background, having different attitudes and behaviours around money – but it can also play into positives.
“Actually, my husband and I fundamentally have very, very similar values around money and we’re very well aligned, which means we can be very transparent about it, we can be very compromising, and I think we can compromise with each other around what we spend on and what we save,” she continues.
“But we also recognise the importance of making sure that’s a very open dialogue at times, to make sure our relationship and household and finances are fully transparent and in check for both of us.”
Williamson has just launched a new podcast called The Cost Of Loving, which aims to break down stigma around money talk and dating.
Because while money worries are something most of us can relate to with the cost-of-living crisis, when it comes to our love lives, she believes it’s a topic we don’t talk about enough.
“It’s something that’s not talked about at all, certainly not in a way where you can really unpack it, without laying a load of judgment down,” says Williamson.
“It’s a very empowering podcast, full of really empathic information to really take away stigma and judgment, and just allow everyone to feel that it’s ok if we don’t know it all, it’s ok if we are lacking in financial education.
“It’s a point of making it really inclusive and just saying that our lives are all governed by relationships and money, so here we are to talk about it, to make sure we try and avoid some of the pitfalls.”
The five-part series will feature guests – including finance and property influencers Tayo and Antoinette Oguntonade, and ex-Love Islander Malin Andersson – talking about their own experiences.
Topics such as gender expectations around money and dating, ‘wage gap’ relationships, financial infidelity and financial abuse red flags will all be put under the spotlight.
In one episode, Williamson discusses ‘loud budgeting’ – the recent TikTok trend where people are vocal about what they’re saving up or budgeting for and saying no to expensive activities.
She believes transparency around finances is key in a relationship: “The minute you start hiding that credit statement here and there, all it does is start to breed mistrust”.
While tighter purse strings might be holding some people back from finding love, Williamson has noticed a shift in attitude when it comes to splashing the cash on dates – and points out it’s now more trendy to have a low-cost date, rather than opting for expensive activities.
But if a tight budget is getting in the way of your dating life, what advice would Williamson share?
“I would say just be really confident about who you are and what you have to offer that person. Be really upfront about what you want from dating, if you’re saving money, it’s perfectly ok to suggest dates that are low expense.”
She also suggests checking out free activities, such as museums, as a cheap option for a fun date.
“Things such as going to street food markets are really good. We’ll take the mick out of the good old park walk with a coffee during lockdown, but actually, they serve a really good purpose,” Williamson adds. “They’re a great icebreaker and I always think going for a drink with someone is really good first date, because it’s a litmus test to whether or not there is any spark that you want to progress with.”
